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Halloween Jokes



  • Advice to a witch on a broomstick: "Don't fly off the handle!"

  • Some witches are so mean that they plant poison ivy in their gardens!

    Sam: Why do witches fly on brooms?
    Pam: Because vacuum cleaner cords are not long enough!

    Dan: Why don't witches look into mirrors?
    Jan: Because it's a shattering experience!

    Q: Why is a witch like a candle?
    A: They are both wick-ed!

    Q: What turns off the lights on Halloween?
    A: The light's witch!

    Q: What did the young witch say to her mother?
    A: "May I have the keys to the broom tonight!"

    Q: Why does a witch wear a pointed black hat?
    A: To keep her head warm!

    Q: Why are teachers happy on Halloween?
    A: Because there's lots of school spirit!

  • A few days after Halloween, Sally came home with a bad report card. Her mother asked why her grades were so low.
    Sally answered, "Because everything is marked down after holidays!"

  • On the morning of Halloween, the teacher told the class, "We'll have only half a day of school this morning."
    The children cheered.
    Then she said, "And we'll have the second half this afternoon."
    This time the children moaned!

    First Ghost: Do you need glasses?
    Second Ghost: No. I'll drink right out of the bottle!

    Q: What do ghosts eat for breakfast on Halloween?
    A: Shrouded Wheat. Ghost Toasties. Scream of Wheat. Terr-fried eggs. Rice Creepies.

    Q: What do witches dine on at Halloween?
    A: Spook-etti. Halloweenies. Devil's food cake. Boo-berry pie.

    Q: When is it bad luck to meet a cat?
    A: When you're a mouse!

    Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Bea.
    Bea who?
    Bea-ware, tonight is Halloween!

    Halloween Jokes Page 4

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